Things no one tells you when having kids.

You pee on plastic stick it turns up positive and your whole world changes.

Don’t believe me? Ask anyone who has ever been pregnant. (or a parent in general for that matter) 1000 things will run through your mind at lightening speed. Some good thoughts, some worrying ones. But, it is that moment you become a parent. That is were it all starts.

I’m going break this up into 4 main categories:

• Funny things
• Gross things
• Heartwarming things
• Very unexpected things

The funny.

⭕️Silly humor

You are going to start laughing at things the average person my not fund funny. And why? Because your child thinks it’s hilarious, and in turn you are also found to find it hilarious. Honestly it’s one of my favourite parts of parenting, it makes days go so much smoother when there’s these little bouts of laughing fits. With them.

⭕️Farts are all of a sudden funny again.

You thought you grew out of it? Nope! Think again, you or your child are going to fart at just the right time. And someone going to bust a gut laughing, it’s so infectious you can’t help but laugh too.

⭕️It’s hard not to laugh

Kids fall, run into things, and end up getting themselves stuck a lot. When it’s not serious, it is hilarious. I remember when I was 5 or 6 my mom and I were walking home from school and she slipped on some ice, and brought me down to. She laughed so hard, for year’s I thought she was just mean. Then I became a parent, it’s not your kids falling that’s funny. It’s how kids fall, or whatever else that hilarious. Have you ever seen a baby fall over from sitting up? It looks like it’s happening in slow motion and they just go along with it. How can you not chuckle!

Gross things.

Can I tell you a secret? If you’re already a parent they probably aren’t that gross to you anymore.

⭕️Okay so, poop.

You’re going to talk about, hear about, and have to clean it up… for years. Now you might be thinking, yeah I know. But no really it will come up multiple times a day, it just becomes so normal that you don’t even notice anymore. Someone needs their bum wiped, someone tells you they have to go. The Dr. asks you how they are pooping, you’ll ask your kids if they have a poop today. Heck at this point I’ll ask my husband if he “had a good poop” when he comes out of the bathroom because as a mom of 4, I’m so unfazed at this point. What can I say. It is what it is.

⭕️Vomit.

I don’t know how to tell you this in any other way. There’s a lot of it. Now, this particular part of parenthood no longer bothers me. 2 out of 4 of my kids are what you would call “pukers”, my oldest at one point would throw up every time she was in a car. And the baby will puke if she laughs too hard or drinks too fast, so I’m not bothered any longer. My poor husband on the other hand, still can’t stand it and it makes him get sick too. So it may not be something you get used to. But there’s a good chance it will become a more common part of your life than you would expect. So uhm, prepare best you can.

⭕️Boogies, snot

What ever you call it. Kids make so much of them. They don’t even have to be sick, kids just seems to be a boogie factory. I wish I was lying, but there’s a reason I carry multiple tissue in my pocket, or ask my mom friend on the way to school if I can get one off her. Thank god for her, she always has a tissue when I’ve forgotten to restock my pocket!

Heartwarming things.

⭕️The best, most magical

That moment (in my opinion) is when your baby looks up at you and smiles for no reason. Now, When I say baby, I mean all my kids they’re all my babies. Those sweet smiles that come from nowhere, can wipe away a bad mood in an instance. The love in their little eyes, when they look at you like you hold their entire world is enough, to make you forget about all the bad that has happened in the day.

⭕️The pride

You feel for your child when someone tells you all the wonderful, amazing, and brilliant things they are or can do. It’s as if all the struggle of parenting is showing as greatest, the things you and your child work so hard on are showing. The fact that you know your child is so brilliant and the world is seeing it too, you feel that pride for them. It’s an indescribable, and irreplaceable feeling.

⭕️When they finally figure things out.

Watching them understand something for the first time or figure it out is so exciting. Now, when I originally had this thought, I wasn’t sure which category to fit it in. However, after thinking about it, it is heartwarming. How could it not be? If you really think about it, when they figure out or understand something for the first time. They want to explain it to you, they get so beyond excited, they get so proud of themselves and their discovery that you yourself will get second hand happy from it. To me, that is heartwarming.

Very unexpected things.

⭕️You no longer have privacy

I don’t just mean your child will come to the bathroom with you. I mean they will. But from the day you give birth, and there’s what feels like 100 different people coming in and out of the room. When you are naked from the waist down, in pain, and having some one “check” you. (if you’ve given birth you know what I mean) It just feels like its gone. Now thankful there’s not strangers seeing you naked all the time as a parent but giving birth, most people don’t give two cents that there’s stranger (nurses, drs, not randoms off the street) I know I didn’t… Until after each baby was out and I was like well a bunch of people I don’t know, know me a little to we’ll now.

But your privacy is also gone at home, your child is going to want to follow you in the bathroom, in the shower, while your changing, just all of it. But I mean at least they come from you right?

Now this one

I do not want to start a controversial topic these are my thoughts my opinions. We do not need to argue about them. And what you do with your body, and your baby is your choice, and no one has the right to tell you otherwise.

⭕️Breast feeding does not always work.

Nor do you have to breast feed if you don’t want to. The breast may be “nutritionally best”. But not if you can’t produce enough. Not if you can’t get your baby to latch, not if you cry every time you try because it hurts that badly. (that was my experience with number 3) and it’s not best if you don’t have any desire to for whatever reason. Which you do not have to justify to anyone.

We are told though from childhood baby drink from the boob that’s it, that’s all, end of story but it’s not end of story, that’s not the way it is. As much as it is slowly starting to be talked about and more excepted, we need to do a better job at making the moms who don’t, can’t, and won’t breastfeed feel okay. Because when I cried while holding my third child to the nurse, telling her it hurt to much my nipples were bleeding, and she just couldn’t latch. I did not expect her to tell me “no, try harder.” This was a not okay, your body, your baby, your choice.

⭕️Lastly.

You’re going to lose friends and you going to make new ones. This one can hurt, you know people tell you you’ll lose friends when you get pregnant for all kinds of reasons. Until you experience it, however, you never really get it. It’s okay though, it just means those people aren’t meant to be in your life or your child’s. It means they are in a different space in life than you are, and your paths don’t connect right now maybe again one day. Just not right now.

But you will make new ones, important ones. Now the very few friends I have made since being in school are like I said very few. And the ones I’ve kept all these years again very few. I mean heck my best friend is a girl I’ve known since kindergarten my other friend are family. Except a couple mom friends I’ve made, those ladies are so important, I mean I don’t tell them because I’m not going to be some weirdo. (I guess if they’re reading this they now know… So hey!) Nevertheless, the friends I’ve made because of having are great!

My one mom friend (the lady I mentioned with the tissues) I made because her mother in-law and I share a fence, and her little girl got passed over to come play with my oldest in the paddling pool. Slowly from there I made a mom friend, one that I can vent to, and talk to, I can trust with my kids, and I know will understand when I just need to complain about mom life for a minute. It was a very unexpected way to make a friend. But, I’m happy I did.

All I’m saying.

Is that, when you become a parent people want to hand you advice, tips, and tell you things. But some things, they just don’t get talked about, or at least not enough. We need to have these conversations, even if you are a parent already.

You don’t need to wonder if you are the only one thinking about them, or going through it. we need to have that open dialect. There’s no need to let people tell you how you should think, or feel (we talk about that in Stop telling Moms how to feel.) we need to live through these things to understand or hear from the ones who have gone through it. Either way, there’s so much more to parenting you just don’t expect or don’t hear about. I hope I could shed some light on them for you.

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