For some reason in the world we live in as soon and someone finds out a women is pregnant. It’s as if they are all of a sudden looked at as a whole new entity.
People go from looking at you as helpful, and capable to this delicate flower that will crumble From wind. Once you have the baby again your looked at in a new incapable way. It’s time we finally talk about it.
Pregnancy right where it all starts. You tell everyone in your life whom would want or needs to know. And all of a sudden people freak out and get upset when you try to do the most basic things. Now there’s certain things you can’t do while pregnant, but people seem to blow this right out of proportion.
Between all the old wives tales, and assumptions. Moms to be are left often times feeling like they’re being looked at as worthless.
People stop you from bringing in your groceries, or standing for more when 10 minutes. Saying they don’t want you to get up, or they will just do it for you. Now I’m not saying sometimes these things aren’t nice, wonderful, and thoughtful.
What I am saying is sometimes, a pregnant women wants to just be left alone to do things the way she wants, for herself, or to simply not be told to not do something.
Right after birth.
“Welcome to motherhood you’ll never sleep again” “good luck finding time for your hobbies now”
These are just two of the examples of things, people feel they have some right to say to a new mother. Just because your a mom now doesn’t mean you’ll never sleep. Yes, for a while you might be sort of sleep, and in the beginning it is very hard to find time for yourself.
But these statements are not facts and need to stop being treated as such.
Baby stage and onward.
Now comes the time when people start to disappear out of your life. It feels like you no longer get invited to things, and it can sometimes feel like your the only one putting effort into a friendship.
The question; “hey we never hangout anymore, want to get together?”
In returned with the sting; “ well I figured since your mom you were to busy” or “well I figured you couldn’t get a baby sitter”
And to this I have to say these people, although it may hurt, they maybe aren’t as important in your life as you once thought. Becoming a mom or a parent in general doesn’t mean you no longer have time to have friendship.
Yes hanging out may look a little different, and there’s a good chance you may not want to or have the ability to do a number of things you once did. However, if those friends can’t adapt and except that life is different now…
Don’t waste you time and attention grasping for change, when they have decided already they aren’t willing to.
The friends and relationships that matter will be happy for you, will want to do things with you and your children. They will except the fact that you can’t do “all the things” you once could and that your responsibilities and priorities are set in different places. That hanging out might look different.
Hobbies, goals, and aspersions.
Just because you are a mother. DOES NOT MEAN you can’t have hobbies, goals, and aspersions. Yes, the road to complete them, and the time line may looks completely different from someone who isn’t a parent. But the belief that once you become a mother you have to give those things up is crap.
If you truly want something, you can find time. You can make time, you can work around the schedule of motherhood and figure it out. I mean hey, the world expects moms to have all the answers anyways.
That all to be said, yes it is absolutely hard to find time for yourself and your things when you have kids. Especially when they are little, I know this first hand. I spend my free minutes of the day working when I can, and stop at the sound of “hey mommy” or a baby cry. Because even though my goals, are important and I will fight tooth and nail to get there, my kids still come first.
But that doesn’t mean I or any other mother can’t work hard and make things happen.
Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t have hobbies, goals, and aspersions because you’re a mom. If anything that makes us more determined.
Being a mom.
It doesn’t by any means make you incapable, it shouldn’t count you out. Make your opinion, goals, or abilities any less than someone’s who’s not.
You’re a bad ass momma,
Don’t let them make you feel any other way.
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