The last six months I embarked on something, big. -Or for me it felt big anyways.
I started my blog, and other social media accounts (Instagram , Twitter , and a Facebook page) I’ve spent hours writing and sharing my views on motherhood, and life. Poured my heart and soul into it. Sharing my feelings, and opinions in hopes that if anyone who was looking to not feel alone in their own imperfect motherhood journey would have a safe place to come and read. To know they weren’t alone. And that none of us really have it all together.
Here’s the thing; somewhere in these last six months I feel like I’ve lost touch with what my goal was. With, my true authentic self. Within my blog, and within my everyday real life. Somewhere in all the chaos that I feel I have created I started to drift from me.
I’ve been expecting to much from myself and setting dead lines and expectations- that as a mother of four, and homemaker in our house couldn’t possible keep up with while also keeping myself taken care of, and authentic.
I sit here and babble on about taking care of ourselves, learning to understand we as parents and human being can not take the world on our shoulders and act as if it okay. When I am not giving myself the same grace, or taking my own advice. Telling other parents, caretakers, and people alike to take care of their own mental health and work load while simultaneously ignoring my own.
When I write about how to deal with having a hard time, it is because I am going through a hard time when I write. I’m giving the advice or opinions I need to hear at that moment to help get me through and share those with all the other moms out there who could be having the same issues. Feeling alone and needing hear those words of encouragement or to just know we have the ability to get through it.
Maybe that sounds crazy, or maybe it sounds brilliant after all writing from real life, and from the heart makes for the best work to read.
But I feel somewhere along that path I lost it and started to no longer write from the heart.
All I know is, right now my work, my social media presents, my day to day life. Needs a shift, because I am not going to give up. I set out on a journey to let other moms not feel so alone, to show what my life truly is as a mother of four (from my perspective), and to show the imperfections of motherhood and that we can enjoy them. Grow with them, and be all we can without bleeding ourselves dry.
So with that, I say. There will be a shift for a while. And I will be taking you all on this journey I will be embarking on. To come back to myself, to what my goal was in the beginning, and if you stay for that ride, and watch the journey unfold I thank you.
Welcome to the journey of finding my way back to me.
-Ashley.
Another cup of cold coffee 
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