I talk very openly about parenting and life. I try to be be extremely raw and real for those who read so no one feels alone. To let those know who are also feeling this way, that their feelings are valid. I do understand that this to some; who may not have children, or have a completely different situation in life or parenting. May find this to be me “complaining” or “focusing on the negative” when in all reality that is not the case.
Today we are going to focus on the little things. The moments I would not trade for anything. The pieces of time that will forever hold a place in my soul. The ones that shaped me as a mother, wife, and person.
(Just to add a quick disclaimer: I will be referring to each of my children by their nicknames as always)
I’m talking way, way back when I was in high school. I had a crush on the man, I would one day marry. Our story is not linear, traditional, or a perfect love story by any means.
However there was a very crucial moment, that would pave the way for us to reconnect years later. In which would lead up to the day he would ask me to marry him.
Hubby was a “pretty boy” I’ll say in high school, I was an “alternative kid”. So our friend groups, interest and personal lives didn’t over lap. Just two teenagers passing in the hall. Until he got my BBM number from someone in school. (Anyone remember good old Black Berry messenger)
Well this led to us talking and me telling my friends about him. (who at the time were skeptical about it) But I wanted to prove them wrong so badly, so one day after school while walking home, sending each other flirty messages I just so happened to see him on the other side of the street. It was my chance, to show my friends that he did indeed like me back.
Across the street I ran, and stuttering through my words I said I had to tell him something. I froze, panicked, and decided to just go big. I kissed him, shockingly to myself and my friends across the street he kissed me back. I opened my eyes, said good bye and ran back across to my friends. That small little moment. We still talk about. It’s just one of the little things that happened so perfectly.
Seeing Soapy stare at Baby bubs.
The day I had Bubs, was chaotic. I hardly made it in the the hospital, from water breaking to Bubs in my arms it was a total of 45 minutes. I honestly don’t remember much from that day.
What I do remember what felt like only minutes after Bubs entered the world, Soapy was put in on the bed beside me. And she just stared at her baby brother, nothing to say, no movement or Curiosity, she just stared at him with love in her little eyes.
That was the moment, the moment I knew she would be the best big sister he could ever have. The most protective, and sweet.
I was right from the point forward her whole little toddlerhood revolved around her wanting to be with her brother.
The muffin talk.
Now if you know me personally than you may know what the “Muffin talk” is. When I was pregnant with Soapy, I went with my Dad to do some running around. I expected this ride to be quiet and relaxing (my Dad is not a talker) He instead took this opportunity to teach me about life… By using muffins as the example.
I won’t get fully into the discussion, but to sum it up. Basically all my mine and babies wants and needs has to be filled by “muffins”. (which looking back I’m almost positive he was using muffins as a replacement for money.) And I was going to be left with deciding which things would trump others, and how I would have to figure out how to divide up said muffins.
This might seem silly to you. Using muffins to give a life lesson, but this is how my Dad saw the best way to explain what he wanted me to know. I’ve never looked a muffin the same since.
This talk lives in my head though, and has taken on a whole new meaning. When my husband and I have to make a financial decision, I ask him. Is it worth the muffin? I’m not sure if my Dad knows how much that conversation has stuck with me, or if I actually took away the point he wanted me to learn. What I do know, is it has become a big part of me.
A simple smile.
“Smile because I love you”My mom.
The words my mom would say to me with love in her voice. Still to this day when I feel like I’m failing as a mother, when I feel like nothing is going right. I will call her and she will say those words. Does it make everything magically better? No… But, it does remind me that when things really suck that I can still smile.
I find myself saying this to my husband, and my children. And even myself when I need to hear it. It might not be much a simple smile can change a whole mood.
My little ones don’t quite understand yet, but telling my older two “smile because I love you” always does the trick, once I get them to smile. I can normally get them talking about what’s really bothering them.
Teeny tiny moments.
If you’re a parent you know exactly what I mean when I say that. It’s the moments when your child first wakes up and says good morning in their little voice. The hug you get out of no where because they wanted to. The “I love you” for no reason.
All the tiny moments that happen throughout the day that we may not notice at the time, but hold on to so tightly when we think back on our day at the end of the night.
I think those may be may favourite things that shape me, make me a better mom, a better wife, and a better person. Those little moments of love, gratitude, and life.
Yes the big things in life matter, but it’s the little ones that make me who I am.
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